I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Better late than never, but never late is better.
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift.
That’s why it’s called the present.
That’s why it’s called the present.
I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.
Im a humble person, really. I’m actually much greater than I think I am.
If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
Dont let your ears witness what your eyes didn’t see…& don’t let your mouth speak what your heart doesn’t feel.
No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.
Whatsapp: the only book teens read these days.
In today’s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
Just thought a thought but the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I thought.
Its Cute When your Crush’s Crush is You.
God made coke. God made pepsi. God made me. Oh so sexy. God made rivers. God made lakes. God made you.
Well…we all make mistakes.
Well…we all make mistakes.
You remind me of my Chinese friend…Ug Lee
Love doesn’t show up on an X-ray….but it’s there.
I never make stupid mistakes, only very-very clever ones.
There is nothing greater in this world than being loving parents. So take the first step today by getting married.
Think different, do different!
Think different, do different!
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
Everybody repeat after me: “We are all individuals.
A dog has an owner. A cat has a staff.
If you are here —who is running hell?
Support bacteria —they’re the only culture some people have.
Which one of these is the non-smoking lifeboat?
There is no dance without the dancers.
Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do “practice”?
Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
I want patience – AND I WANT IT NOW!
Every organization is perfectly designed to get the results they are getting.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
A good laugh and long sleep are two best cures for anything.
Some people are alive only, because it’s illegal to kill them.
Life is a roller-coaster inside of a maze.
Everybody is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes.
When someone says, “You’ve Changed”, it simply means you’ve stopped living your life their way.
There are three sides to an argument – your side, my side and the right side.
Some people call me Mike, you can call me tonight. [tweet it]
I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.
Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop.
Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.
I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
Train your mind to see good in everything.
When nothing goes right, go left!
Warning…I know KARATE…….And few other oriental words.
I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.
If there is a “WILL”, there are 500 relatives.
Born to express not to impress.
If you’ve never lost your mind, you’ve never followed your heart.
I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
If you like me, then raise your hand, If not then raise your standard.
I am totally available! Please disturb me!
Oh, so you wanna argue, bring it. I got my CAPS LOCK ON.
I make mistakes; I’ll be the second to admit it.
When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.
Silent people have the loudest minds.
The trouble is that you think you’ve time!
I am a good boy with lots of bad habits.
Do more of what makes you happy.
Never mind what I told you, you do as I tell you.
I am not telling you it’s going to be easy. I am telling you it’s going to be worth it.
It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Passion is the genesis of genius.
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
Sometimes you succeed and other times you learn.
If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
Don’t confuse having a career with having a life.
The road to success is always under construction.
War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.
Happiness does not buy you money.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
Be a good person, but don’t try to prove.
When everything comes your way. Then you are on the wrong way.
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.
Friendship comes when silence between two people is there.
We’re a non-profit company. It didn’t start out that way but it happened.
Nothing in the world is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.
Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.
First love is important but last love is very important.
I liked things better when I didn’t understand them.
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.
If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try.
In “Success” all depends on the second letter.
To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is.
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. [tweet it]
The greatest advantage of speaking the truth is that you don’t have to remember what you said
The greatest advantage of speaking the truth is that you don’t have to remember what you said
She’s so fake. If you look behind her neck, I bet it says “Made in China”.
I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy saving mode.
If I had known what it would be like to have it all – I might have been willing to settle for less.
My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.
Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbours are not
Whatever it is — I didn’t do it!
My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
If at first, you don’t succeed… Keep flushing.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
WhatsApp is using me!
I am so poor that I can’t pay attention in class.
I drink to make other people interesting.
If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn’t contain any calories.
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
We repair what your husband fixed.
Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.
Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
Man makes money. Money make man mad.
I’m nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I’m perfect.
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
A party without cake is just a meeting.
His story is History, My Story is Mystery.
The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.
Had a really great “Night Out” last night, According to my police report.
Life is a game, let’s make a high score.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
We can tell our values by looking at our checkbook stubs. [tweet it]
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
It’s better to be looked over, than overlooked.
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read.
I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defence.
Marriage is a fine institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.
My mother always said don’t marry for money, divorce for money.
I Love My Country. Itis The Government I’m Afraid Of!
Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
The only thing I can’t stand is discomfort
If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.
I’m a great lover, I’ll bet.
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
The lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math. [tweet it]
Coffee, chocolate, men… some things are just better rich.
Coffee, chocolate, men… some things are just better rich.
This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
When God sneezed, I didn’t know what to say.
Never do anything yourself that others can do for you.
I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
I usually take a two hour nap, from one to four. [tweet it]
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
Well, enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What do you think about me?
Do unto others before they do unto you.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
I’m not messy. I’m organizationally challenged!
He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
I’m totally a cheap date; I don’t pay for anything.
It’s not too far, it just seems like it is.
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.
His I.Q. is so low you can’t test it. You have to dig for it.
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it.
Evil is obvious only in retrospect.
I’d far rather be happy than right.
I’d explain it to you but I’m afraid your head might explode.
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I can resist everything except temptation.
You’re pretty close to perfect when you’re standing next to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment